From coaching and mentoring conversations I know that one of the challenges that governance professionals can face is lack of confidence. Confidence is important for the role we perform. We need to be able speak up in meetings, communicate with people at the highest level in organisations and give advice in a manner that engenders trust. It may seem that some people are naturally confident but the good news is that confidence is a skill that can be developed. So if you tremble at the thought of speaking to the chairman or at an event the good news is that you can change this – I certainly did!
What is confidence?
When you are feeling confident you believe in yourself, your skills and knowledge, and trust yourself. However, confidence does not necessarily mean you will feel comfortable – particularly at first, and I am happy to admit that I still get nervous before big events or meetings. The key is to accept that discomfort is a necessary part of developing confidence, and embrace it.
How to build confidence
In order to build confidence you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone a little bit and do the things you don’t want to. I know this may not be good news if you were thinking you would take a step out of your comfort zone after you have developed your confidence! But if you stay in your comfort zone you will never learn that you are capable, knowledgeable and can do it. In fact if you do not step out of your comfort zone, the unknown can even become more scary as time passes.
This does not mean that if you fear public speaking you have to volunteer to speak at a big conference straight away. The idea is to push yourself a little way out of your comfort zone into your stretch zone, but not into your panic zone as illustrated in the learning model (Luckner and Nadler 1991):
For most people speaking at a large conference would be too much too soon (panic zone), but maybe doing a presentation to a small number of trusted colleagues in an informal meeting might be a good first step? This might be stretching but not panic inducing. You will probably be nervous and feel uncomfortable and it will take courage, but afterwards you will know that it was ok and you did it – this is what builds confidence. Especially when you keep doing it. Every time you do so your confidence in yourself and your abilities will grow, and your comfort zone will expand to include those things that were previously in your stretch zone.
Be kind to yourself
While doing this work it is important to be kind to yourself. If something goes wrong don’t be overly critical of yourself but see that as a learning opportunity and something to put right next time. It might help to think about what you would say to a good friend if they were in your situation. Direct the same unconditional encouragement and support towards yourself. Reward yourself with a treat and remember to give yourself time to recover and replenish because this is hard work.
Seek feedback
If you doubt your own abilities, seeking feedback from trusted colleagues can be helpful. You are much more capable than you think you are and a trusted friend or colleague will be able to point this out.
Other things you can do to build confidence can include identifying and acknowledging your strengths – asking yourself questions such as “what am I good at?” “what is my best achievement?”, “how can my strengths help me in the future?”. Or you could write yourself a reference with as much positivity as you would use if you were writing one for a friend or a colleague you admire.
There are tools you can use to support these exercises. You could assess your governance skills and competencies using the CGIUKI competency framework: https://www.cgi.org.uk/blog/the-competency-framework-for-governance-professionals or for an assessment of your innate strengths there are many tools available of which https://cappfinity.com/our-products/strengths-profile/ is just one.
If all this feels a bit too daunting or overwhelming you might find the support and encouragement of a mentor or professional coach helpful. If you are a CGIUKI member or student there is a free mentoring scheme available which can help with building confidence or many of the other governance challenges.
I am happy to have an informal chat about anything in this article or all the support options available. Feel free to email me: lesley@lesleyward.co.uk and we can organise a virtual coffee to chat things through.